By Angel Sullivan
The 2017-2019 ministry focus of American Baptist Women’s Ministries is “Feel/Siente.” Information about the theme, based on Luke 8:43-49, Acts 17:27-28 (NLT), and 1 Samuel 2:1-11 (The Voice), may be found at www.abwministries.org/theme. This post is part of a series of “Herstories” from American Baptist women around this theme.
As I turn on the nightly news, I watch a city, a community, destroyed, not knowing if friends and loved ones are alive or dead. I feel a sense of helplessness, a feeling that I want to do something but I don’t know what.
As I look at my phone and read the news feed, I see again and again that violence from the barrel of a gun has taken the lives of innocent men, women, and children. I feel numb. I cry out to God, “Why?”
It is in that moment that I feel a gentle touch in my spirit, as if a loving parent is cradling me in his or her arms, surrounding me in safety and love. I feel as if God is saying, “Trust me. In my time I will make everything alright.” In that moment I feel a light breeze blow past my ears and I hear the soft words of hope whispering, “Be of good faith and courage, I have overcome the world.” I feel a sense of courage. I feel a sense of call rising up in me, challenging me into a new level of existence, inviting me to be the hope for today and the change for tomorrow.
My head and heart are both inundated with feelings of excitement and discouragement, fear and courage, sadness and joy, in a world that is imperfect, but made perfect in God. As I wrestle with my feelings, I am reminded that those feelings can be fickle, wrapped around worldly events and desires. I am also reminded, however, that the one thing that is constant and everlasting is God’s feeling of love and wanting the best for each of us.